Worthiness

Know your worth

Someone else does

Wait don’t search

Once found everything changes

Smiling from ear to ear

Saying Good morning or goodnight

First and last thing on mind when you wake up and goes to bed.

Simplest gesture can show you care

Not worth making a mistake

To lose that one over something simple

That one who gave you butterflies

Make the equal effort

Feelings deep within

The days go by

Smiling from ear to ear

Butterflies deep down at every glance

Happiness has finally come

Day by day

Night by night

Feelings will grow deeper for that one

Knight in shining armor heard my cries

To one day lead us to that one future

No one will ever truly know

Follow your gut and hearts desire

Feel like puzzle being put back together

Slowly but surely scars healing

Heartache seeping through

Escaping as remainder of pain

His charm and heart felt love erase that away

Hearts keeper

My one and only hearts keeper

Stolen away at first glance

Earned every piece day by day

Butterflies flutter within when we’re together

Your glance makes me melt

Being with you makes my world go round

Your texts saying good morning brighten up my day

The goodnights are sad only when you aren’t here aside me

Every time I’m with you I feel warmth in my heart. 

We make love there is warmth in my heart. 

Any conversation on the phone there is warmth in my heart. 

All the warmth equals my love for you. 

My hearts keeper at first sight. 

Sick and Tired

So I finally told my now ex-bff off because I am sick of everything she wants from me when she cant even be there for me. She wanted me to go to this stupid seminar for her fake career. Majority of the time I ask her to hang it is because I keep finding out more and more bad news about my mom. My mom was given until March of this year and has out lived what the doctors estimated twice. She is worse then ever and makes sure to but on a mask so her kids won’t truly see how bad it is. She even told me a few days ago she would be lucky if she made it another month. My ex-bff says I keep making up excuses but she doesn’t understand how much I am going through. Both of her parents are in good health and she fails to see the pain I am in. I break down and she feels bad then but then after that she can careless about others.

Random blab

I am very grateful for those friends who are always there for me. Especially with everything my family is going through. I can only hold my emotional break outs in so much.It is not that easy to be strong for myself, my mom and both of my sisters. I also am glad to have few coworkers who comfort me when I am down. I would not be able to make it through those crazy busy long shifts without them. I never thought that my life would be so difficult to hold everything together this early in time. I am hoping to have many years more with my mom. I can not lose her because she is like my best friend. I always call her for help or talk to her when I need someone. Even though I ask her advise on things at times I don’t not follow them, but that is what daughters do. We need to learn from our mistakes, which is what I have been doing since I was a little girl. The advise I do take I try to pass it on to my younger sisters. I need to be one that they can come to when they need their big sis. My youngest sister and I will be driving to Delaware to see my other younger sister for a week. It will be a great well needed trip away from home and work. We only get to see her twice a year so, it will be well needed sister bonding time.
The friends that I thought I would be able to spend time with like we used to are turning out to be friends I am starting to not want in my life. I am their for when they need me, but every time I try to make plans with them they don’t even have the time of day to give me. There is one coworker that I am glad to have met because we had a great girls night out. I might have been hung over the next morning, but it was well worth it. I can talk to her as if we have been friends for awhile. She is one that I am going to try to spend more time with and get to know better. Hopefully this new guy that I have been talking to will turn out to be another good friend. I don’t have many and will take as many as I can get that I can trust. He is also very attractive and has a good head on his shoulders. He has a good sense of humor and knows what he wants in life. I think he will make a positive impact on my life like he wants to. We can only see where things go. I will not force anything because if it is meant to happen it will.

Hurt

The feeling deep within
Can’t do anything right
Hurting those I care most
Why am I even still here?
I don’t deserve to be
Just want to disappear
No more heartache if I’m gone
Everyone would be happier
They can cherish all the moments
Without all the heartache
Why am I even still here?
The pain I cause
Hurt that can be patched up

Life

The hurt
The pain.grows bigger
Everyday
The questions
What’s going on?
Need the truth
Sick of lies
Why me?
Had enough
Hurt to the end
Who to believe?
Need guidance
Enough mistakes made
Ready to settle down
Family and marriage
One before the other
Need a big SIGN
HELP!
Make right choice
No regrets
Enough made
Where’s prince charming?
Ready for a miracle
Heart to be healed
Time to be shocked
Confusion everywhere

Sadness

Black crows
Red stained clothe
Misery
Blade in hand
Walk away
Death awaits
Life to live
Suns shining
Clouds coming
Darkness
Red rain drops?
Gaze down
Wrists slit
Wipe face
Tears of blood
Try to wake up
Cant?
Confusion arises
The truth appears
Seeing tunnel of light
Wanting life
Walk near light
Death took that life

My prince

Almost doomed by a horrible
journey,
Of love-cloaked by obsession
and jealousy,
Was blinded that beyond my
world – so small
Life doesn’t exist after all.

The last bead of courage
helped me out
My fate has changed, without
a doubt.
I’ve never been so free like
this!
My heart is calm, my soul at
ease!

Still, loneliness pokes every
night,
I long for love, I cannot hide.
But you , My Prince, just came
for me!
With so much love and
sympathy.

I couldn’t fathom how I feel,
But all I know, you’re here to
heal.
You are my source of strength
within,
From withered life, I live
again.

What will complete my flow of
grace?
Your caring touch and warm
embrace!
My heart craves to be with
you,
Your love is pure, meek and
true..

Sexual enjoyment

Laying down in bed of roses
Receiving sensual kisses from head to toe
Body tingling in excitement
Dripping of chocolate all over chest
Lightly licking each bit off
Slowly sliding into entrance of wetness
Moving in and out slowly
Friction causing enjoyment
Getting more wet with each thrust
Lips touching to silence the moans
Parents in other room
Taking risk for the love
Biting his neck as he just thrusts so hard
While you tighten letting your juices flow all over him
Finally he shoots it all within you
There you lay in astonishment